ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
