She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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