Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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