My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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