I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize