normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
