it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize