Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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