I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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