HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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