ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
