Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
