I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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