is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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