we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
