you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
be right there i have to get my cape
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
