you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
my penis made a compromise with my morals
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize