i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
