THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
