Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
false alarm. still invincible.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
