You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
