I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
this boner is exhausting
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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