I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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