next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
