did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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