Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
