I'm going to jail i love you
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
pray to the hookup gods
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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