you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize