Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize