"it" just moved
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
