Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
