Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
