need another drink. this is the easiest way
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
