I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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