Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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