A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
