So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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