We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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