Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
