i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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