FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
