Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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