just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
