and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
