and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
