This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
