ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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