We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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