she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
