what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
