Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
