but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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