she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
