FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
