i just had sex bonerless
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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