I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
