It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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