just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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