It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
well most of my day revolves around power hour
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
