question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
