I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
