holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
