once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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