Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
